Day 88 -- Perfection Not Necessary

Today I'm grateful that, for God, perfection is not a requirement.

A lot went on today.  I found myself in a constant mental battle with the thoughts in my head threatening to destroy all of the positive things going on around me.

I volunteered to work the registration table at the Yeti Chase 5K run today.  I was disorganized and messed up some of the online registrations. There weren't enough t-shirts for everyone who registered today.  I should have told  someone about all of the people who were calling and asking about online registration.


I ran in the Yeti Chase 5K run today.  But I should have run faster and pushed myself harder.


I helped with the post-race activities.  Which meant that I wasn't keeping a close enough eye on my  kids or taking the time to talk enough with my  friends or the parents who helped work the race.


I had friends and family over for lunch after the race.  But my house is filthy and I can't cook worth a darn.


I spent time with my husband and children at home.  I was tired and didn't give them the full attention they deserved.  And I was distracted by trying to wrap up some loose ends from the race.


If all you read is the non-italicized portion of this post, it sounds like a pretty good day full of really good things.  But I felt tortured by the feeling of being not good enough for anyone or anything, as indicated by the italicized words. By this afternoon, I had myself convinced that I had single-handedly ruined the Yeti Chase for next year and that nobody who ran it this year would come back next year because of me.

It all seems ridiculous now as I'm writing this, but it was feasible at the time.

I had to take a minute after all of these activities were over, inhale deeply, and pray.  I asked God, "What is going on?  Why do I feel like this?"

His reply was clear, but simple, and I honestly felt Him saying to me: "You think you have to be perfect.  I've never asked or expected you to be."


Whoa.  Sometimes even the simple act of beating yourself up can be self-centered.  I was focused on all of my flaws and failures to the point of wallowing, instead of concentrating on my many blessings.  God knows I'm not perfect.  In fact, he expects it.  He knows screw ups will happen and rolls with it when they inevitably do.  That's grace.  That's love with no end.  Somehow, by demanding perfection of myself when God doesn't, I was putting myself above the need for this grace and this love.  By trying to achieve perfection through my own strength and ability, I was refusing to rely on His.

I tried to re-equilibrate my thoughts with what really happened today, focusing on the positive and on those around me, instead of myself.  Here's what I came up with:


I volunteered to work the registration table at the Yeti Chase 5K run today.  I wasn't flawless, but that's okay.  I offered up my time and energy when I didn't have to for a great cause, and that was cool.

I ran in the Yeti Chase 5K run today.  It was a glorious day for a run.  I felt good throughout the entire race, and I really can't believe that my time was as good as it was with the amount of training I have done.  

I helped with the post-race activities.  My mom and Bob got a chance to hang out with Breslin and Dharia at the playground which was great fun for both parties.  I'm lucky to have people in my life who love my kids so much and can help me take care of them when I am busy.

I had friends and family over for lunch after the race.  I got to spend time eating a meal with some of my favorite people in the world, who don't give a darn about what my house like.

I spent time with my husband and children at home.  I am so lucky to have three healthy kids and a husband who loves me even when I am tired and crabby.

I have the tendency to be a perfectionist, to my absolute detriment.  One thing can go wrong and I will count the entire project or day as a failure.  I am thankful that God reminded me today how selfish and how self-destructive this can be.  He gave me a new perspective and salvaged my day so that I can count it as a success, even though it wasn't perfect.

And, in a tribute to imperfection, I am not proofreading this post!  So there!

Thank God that perfection is not necessary!

Lord, thank you for reminding me today that you do not demand perfection.  Please help me to continue to align my perspective with yours and rely on you for strength to get through all of my days.  I realize now that most of them will not be perfect and neither will I.  I know that the time I have here is just a moment, and I don't want to waste it wallowing.  Thank you for working in me, Lord.  In your name I pray, Amen.