Day 106 -- A Very Special One Year-Old
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| What is this face? Who knows? She's the birthday girl, she can make whatever face she wants. Note the new kicks. Yep, they are zebras. |
For one, it's a much bigger deal for everyone else than it is to the one year-old. AJ slept away most of this rainy, dreary day without a second thought. For her, it was just another day. Colby and I have run the gamut of children's first birthday parties from absolute giant, multi-family monstrosities to laid back, private affiars. I felt guilty today that we did as little as we did in celebration of this momentous occasion, but AJ didn't seem to mind. In fact, she seemed to relish the extra attention from mom and dad at home (and the extra nap time, too). She definitely enjoyed all of the singing of the happy birthday song that went on in our house. And I have to believe she loved her birthday cupcakes.
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| The girls and I on AJ's birthday! |
Then there is the fact that these birthday celebrations tend to make me go back in my mind and re-live every detail of the baby's entrance into this world. I think one year ago at this moment, I was in the van with Colby on the way to Oaklawn Hospital, not really sure whether or not I was actually in labor. Then, an hour and a half later, I stood up from the jacuzzi tub I was attempting to relax in and said, "She's coming RIGHT NOW" and -- you know what? I was right. One year later, I believe my husband is just as traumatized as he was that night. Just to remind you of how shaken up he was, you should watch this video, taken on the day after she was born.
Additionally, I think first birthdays make you think of all the endearing qualities of the baby and wonder what life could possibly have been like without him or her. AJ was definitely a suprise baby, but I can't imagine not having her in our lives. I have spent many posts detailing all of the things that make her wonderful, but what is interesting is to think about is how one tiny person can so dramatically change the very fabric of our family's collective life. I think about how sweet and kind Breslin can be as a big brother (notice this is not the character he demonstrated with Dharia). I think about how AJ annoys Dharia just like Dharia used to (and often still does) torture Breslin. I think about how Colby and I approach things differently now that we are outnumbered. I think about what that room would look like upstairs had we not had to transform it into a little girl's bedroom. The list goes on and on.
Finally, it's all a little sad for me as a mom, because technically my baby isn't a baby any more. She's now a little toddler -- someone whose age will be more appropriately expressed in years rather than weeks or months. All three first birthdays of my kids have come and gone, leaving me feeling as though they came impossibly soon, as though a year passed me by in a heartbeat. Just a minute ago they were tiny little helpless lumps who needed me for anything. Now, they are big and strong, fiercely independent and growing up a little more every minute. I guess it's an opportunity to reflect, and to be awed not at their perfect innocence or tiny features, but by the possibilities their lives have to offer. I am so excited to see what AJ will become as she grows in the next year. And the next. And the next. And some day, when she is graduating from high school, or walking down the aisle, or throwing her baby a ridiculously huge first birthday party, I will never stop anxiously waiting on the edge of my seat to see what she will do or say next.
The bottom line is that I am so wildly in love with this little girl and so thankful that, regardless of how this day was celebrated, she is and always will be a part of our family.
Thank God for a very special one year-old!
Lord, thank you for AJ. Thank you for giving her to us one year ago today. Thank you for making her exactly who she is. Thank you for the way she has affected our family. Help us to mold her into the person you desire her to be, for your glory. In your name I pray, Amen.
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