Day 1016 -- Panther Family

Today was easily the most difficult day I have ever had as a teacher.

There really isn't an adequate way to describe what we went through as a school today.  Each one of my hours was a little bit different, but each one was filled with hugs, tears, and pain.

First hour was the hardest of the day.  I tried, unsuccessfully, to talk to my students and bring them some measure of comfort.  It didn't work.  We sat in silence staring at each other, nobody knowing what to do or say. Finally, after several heart-breaking minutes had passed, I turned to a couple of children's books to fill the silence.  It was definitely awkward, but it was something.  Then, I passed out index cards and markers and let them write messages to tape up on my windows that face the hallway as I played some Blake Shelton, who was frequently requested by Colton during class.  That seemed to help a little bit, although it did make the tears start flowing more freely.

During second hour, I had a student who was with Colton at the scene.  We talked and cried.  There was a blue cross that the students made for everyone to sign.  Eventually it made its way to my room during this hour.  I am so grateful that it did because it made my room kind of a meeting place throughout the day.  For every hour, I had students from every grade level coming in to sign the cross and make cards to tape up on my windows.  The would sit, talk, laugh, and cry.  Some would stay for several hours.  Others would come and go.  It was a blessing for me to see so many different students and to witness them healing as the day progressed.  I had so many students ask me if I was okay.  It was very sweet.

The school seemed lost.  Students sat in the hallway in groups or visited other classrooms.  I know that we needed this day, and I am so proud of the way that the students were there for each other.  They wore blue proudly to honor Colton and for one precious day there was no pettiness or drama.  We were a family.

Thank God for our Panther family!

Lord, thank you for my school.  Thank you for the healing you've already poured out on us and for the love, peace and comfort you continue to provide.  Help us to be brave and to continue showing our love for each other through this hard time.

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