To get out of the pit

 

I get "stuck" a lot.

The best way I can describe it is as a state of being where I am constantly cognizant of the urgent need to do something and of the overwhelming volume of what needs doing, yet I am frozen in place, unable to get started.

So instead of all the somethings that need doing, I do nothing.

Then, I berate myself for not doing anything.

Then, I stress about all of the things that need doing.

Wash, rinse, repeat.

It leaves me feeling panicky and hopeless; worthless and exhausted.

With experience, reflection, and a lot of therapy, I have found that what helps me out of this state of what I can only imagine to be like near-hypnosis are simple, small, manageable tasks.

The deeper and darker my state of "stuckness", the smaller in scale those tasks need to be. 

What sometimes happens is that by doing one of these small tasks, I gain some traction to perhaps take on another one; or sometimes even to move on to one of my "medium-sized" tasks. Sometimes, I look around to see that I've crawled out of the pit.

So today, I thought I'd share some of my tiny tasks that help me thaw out of my frozen state of stuck:

1. Do a 5-10 minute meditation on a free meditation app like Insight Timer.
2. Shower. Even if I already have that day or if I still think there's a chance or working out later.
3. Make a simple meal for my family. I'm not a great cook, so it's usually something pretty simple and mindless, and it gives me a sense of accomplishment. Even if it's not time for dinner, I can prep something that we can throw in the oven later.
4. Tidy up ONE room of the house - no vacuuming or dusting, though. Just refolding blankets, picking up legos and toys off the floor, and making a pile on the stairs of stuff that didn't belong in that room.
5. If the washing machine is open, START one load of laundry. No dice if the washing machine requires rotation to the dryer or, heaven forbid, folding.
6. Make my bed. 
7. Read Hobbes or Harvey a board book - something that can be read in 5 minutes or less. Think Sandra Boynton or Ruth Spiro's "Baby Loves...." books. 

To make the list, these are things that have to pretty much guaranteed to be doable once they are initiated. For example, writing a thank-you card used to be on here, but if I didn't know the person's address or didn't have any stamps in my house, the task remained unfinished. For me, this wasn't helpful. 

A couple of disclaimers:

1) This isn't a guarantee. I've been known to quit making a meal right in the middle, leaving everything out in the kitchen and heading straight for bed. I've been known to take a nice, hot shower and then lay down for a 2.5 hour nap. Sometimes a nap is the only answer.

2) You'll notice that nothing related to physical activity is on here. Sadly, I'm not there yet. Even putting on a sports bra and shorts to get on my bike trainer in the basement is way too much when I'm at this point. Gearing up for a winter outdoor run takes even more. I've found that to get to those things, I need to start smaller. I'm hoping to add a short stretching routine, like this one from Fitness Blender. It's 11 minutes long, and I wouldn't even need to change my clothes to do it.

3) It naturally follows that there are things that absolutely should NOT be on the list. It's not that these things can't or shouldn't ever be done, they have just proven to be poor choices specifically when I am stuck. These include drinking alcohol, snacking, answering emails (at first that actually seemed like a small, manageable task...but, no), or anything involved with going in a kids' room or family bathroom (which affects #4 above).

I'm working on expanding my list, but I'm also working on a list for my intermediate and low states of stuckness. 

When I am completely "unstuck", I can be machine, but the reality for me is that this state comes and goes. Luckily I've gotten a lot better at seeing it coming. Now I'm ready to help myself get it to go.